The five words I wish I’d heard 10 years ago
Every now and then, someone says something so brilliantly simple that you wonder how you’ve managed to go your entire professional life without hearing it.
That happened to me recently.
I was sitting in a big project kick-off meeting, listening to my client set expectations for his team. He made it clear that he wanted everyone to contribute their ideas and perspectives throughout the project.
But he also had a rather important caveat that was worthy of a standing ovation:
‘Input does not mean adoption.’
Five perfect words to make it clear that although he would listen to and consider everyone’s views, ultimately, the decisions would be his.
And I thought: Where the hell has that sentence been all my life?
You see, I’ve always considered myself a collaborative leader. I genuinely value my team’s opinions and input. But I’ve also worried that choosing something different to what they’ve suggested might leave them feeling unheard or unimportant.
So, admittedly, I’ve occasionally gone with X when, deep down, I preferred Y. Was it the end of the world – or my business? Obviously not. But I now realise that when I choose what will keep someone happy over what I actually think is best, that’s not collaboration.
That’s people-pleasing.
(And look, I like being liked as much as the next girl. But unconditional love and approval? That’s what dogs are for🐶)
Now, here’s my question for you:
When you ask your team for input, how clear are you about what you’re actually asking for? Because ‘What do you think?’ can mean very different things – such as:
- It’s your project, your decision.
- I want your opinion, but I’ll make the final call.
- I’ve made my decision. What have I overlooked?
All perfectly reasonable. But unless you explain which one you mean, you risk leaving your team feeling ignored when their ideas aren’t adopted – and yourself feeling pressured to proceed with decisions you don’t support.
So, yes – the best leaders are certainly collaborative. But if nobody knows who the hell’s making the final decision, you’re failing at something even more fundamental to good leadership: clear communication.
(Funny that… says the woman who runs a communication skills business😉 )
So, next time you want to make it clear that you value everyone’s opinions but are ultimately making the call, feel free to borrow the five words I’ve shamelessly stolen from my client:
Input does not mean adoption.
Until next time!
Until next time!
